August 15
I feel like I'm living a double life. On the one hand I'm Jake's girlfriend and once again find myself in a relationship I don't know how I feel about. He's crazy about me. It's serious. What am I going to do?
And I haven't done what he's asked me to do. I'm still talking to Mike. Maybe now more than ever. I have to know if it's real or not. Like are the feelings still there? I mean can you really go back? I know it'll never be the same as it was but is it worth it to try?
I feel like I'm being pulled in two different directions and I'm not sure which me I want to be. I want to be happy but which path will make me happy? I feel like I'm in an awful soap opera. This is worse than any movie I've ever imagined myself in. Because this this is real.
And because it's not a movie at some point I will have to decide. God I really wish this was a movie.
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