November 30 Again
Okay now I'm so fucking mad I have to get this out.
I got drunk. Everybody got drunk. My family believes in wine and lots of it when it comes to holidays. The only problem with wine and the lots of it part is that it sort of acts like a truth serum. Alex complained about not being ready for college and feeling pressured to succeed and not wanting to end up like me wasting my talents working at a bank. Thanks Alex thanks a lot.
Sally got so drunk she actually stopped babytalking and has a nice regular voice. Note to self, give Sally liquor more often and she'll stop being so annoying.
Mike said he loved me. To my parents. My Dad said something nice about me and Mike just says, "Yeah, it's why I love your daughter." And I didn't even get time to enjoy it because Stupid Kim starts fucking mocking him! Everyone loves her and rolling her eyes and making stupid hand gestures and before I knew what was happening I'd thrown my glass of red wine all over her and her pretty new sweater and the flood gates opened and we both started talking and yelling and crying. And this was the part I was still trying to process until I came home from work today and Elwood was tied up outside in the cold!
For ten days we just haven't talked. We are ghosts who make coffee and go to work and pretend we can't see each other. But you do NOT TIE UP MY DOG AND LEAVE HIM OUTSIDE!
View the original pages here.
November 30
I had to think for a few days about the disaster that turned out to be Thanksgiving. And in those days I still haven't taken it all in. To describe in one word.
WOW.
I didn't expect it to be a walk in the park, but wow. It all started off so easy. Kim insisted on cooking all by herself. Mom picked up Alex Wednesday night so they were here right at 3. Dad and Sally got here a little later. Mike had helped me clean and decorate with leaves and those little tiny pumpkins. Mom and Sally made awkward small talk. The storm was brewing slowly. But it was Kim who I believe started it. First I asked about 3:30 how it was coming along and was shooed out of the kitchen. Then my mom poked her head in and was kicked out. And Sally, poor stupid babytalking Sally, asked loudly about 4:30 if we were eating soon. It was at this point Kim realized she wasn't quite as Martha as she may have imagined. First we heard something clattering into the sink and then the sobbing and swearing. And then Sally, poor stupid babytalking Sally, went into the kitchen where the dragon who used to be Kim was. I can't quote her exact words but I believe it went something like, "Get out of my fucking Kitchen Babytalker! Out! Ouuuuuuuut!" Followed by lots of crying sobbing shuffling noises and more stuff crashing in the sink. Sally came back a bit pale. I don't know that you're ever ready for a six foot tall blonde to scream and throw things.
We all sat there for a minute not saying anything and just looking at each other. Finally Alex and I went slowly into the dragon's lair. Barbie had finally cracked under the pressure of all those years of pretending to be perfect. And dinner? It was all done. Don't know what brought her to crazyland but dinner was all ready to go! I nodded at Alex and he started bringing it out to the chain of clth covered card tables we'd set up in the living room. I knelt down to Kim and began to take off her apron.
"They didn't come" she whispered in tears. "Who?" "No one." She was right. I don't know who she had invited but the only people in the living room belonged to me. She went into her room and for a minute I felt sad for her. May parents are divorced and all but they're a part of my life. Hers just send postcards from whatever foreign country they jet off to. But then she came out of her room in a new outfit and all made up and lavished all the attention being thrown at her and I stopped feeling bad for her.
The most terrible moment is when you realize your best friend is a faker. I wasted so many years telling her my secrets and caring about her life and wasting my love on her.
What happened next is still a little unbelieveable to me. I don't know where it all came from. Well I do, but, well maybe I haven't finished figuring it all out. Maybe, just WOW will have to do for right now. I'm tired of thinking right now and I don't feel like writing anymore.
View the original pages here.
Novemeber 20
I must be more of an idiot that I thought. I've decided Kim and I will host dinner for everyone here. I asked Kim if she knew what she was getting herself into but she's actually really excited about it. I think she secretly has always wanted to be Martha Stewart. Secretly only because Martha's not quite glamourous enough for Kim.
Mom and Dad have both agreed to be nice to each other and to whatever guests the other one brings. Mom's the one I'm worried about. Babytalker drives her just as crazy as she does me. Shit, Sally, her name is Sally. I'll have to remind Mom not to call her Babytalker. Sally Sally Sally.
Mike gets to meet all the nuts and Alex is even coming from college! I just hope Kim has some crazies come too!
View the original pages here.
November 12
I wonder if all the children of divorced parents are as over holidays as I am. You'd think after years of doing this I'd be full of practice in handling my crazy family.
Then Kim suggested we host a dinner here. In theory it sounds like a good idea because my parents have always been good at being civil to each other for my sake. Or maybe they're just good at faking it. But Dad wants to bring the baby-talker and I can just see where that would go. I don't think Kim and I could afford the cleaning bill. But I'd love to see that!
View the original pages here.
November 10
So it begins. My parents are fighting over who I should spend turkey day with. Mike says he's willing to meet whichever we end up with.
That's a lot of pressure. It's one thing to have Mom and Dad meet the new boyfriend and something completely different to have to decide which one he's meeting. Do I decide based on who's a better cook? Who has better wine? Who's been nicest to me lately?
I can't play favorites with my parents. That's just not fair. I wish Mike was from here and I could take the easy way out and do Thanksgiving with his family.
It's pretty scary when the easy way out is to meet your boyfriend's parents!
View the original pages here.
