Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Entry 15: Read October 16


August 13

I blame society for the way I am. And my parents of course. But mostly society, which my parents are definitely members of. I have always escaped to the movies like everybody else. They wouldn't make so much money if every girl didn't believe she'd meet the man of her dreams and have her clothes magically melt off the moment she knew he was the guy for her.

My clothes didn't magically melt off and it certainly wasn't a scene in a love story. But it wasn't a scene in a comedy either. It was okay. I don't know what made me think I'd be any less insecure with my clothes off than I am with my clothes on. You'd think the fact that Mike and I have these amazing dates and he makes me feel more confident would work other places too. I don't know. It wasn't awful it just wasn't what I imagined. That's what I get for imagining I guess.

But it does make me wonder why I never read about this in Cosmo or my other magazines. How do you tell someone when it's just okay? How do you get it together? I know it was the first time and that's automatically awkward but how do I make it better? Should I even care? This is so much better than being single and I should just be grateful. Right? Yes.


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